


There's no need to lie (just be kind with the truth)

by darkmoore



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 12:13:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17121146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkmoore/pseuds/darkmoore
Summary: To catch his stalker, Rafael agrees to the plan of pretending to date Sonny. Problem is, while he is now physically safe, his heart is at stake.





	There's no need to lie (just be kind with the truth)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [snakeling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/snakeling/gifts).



> This was written as a gift for Snakeling in the Barisi gift exchange. The story gave me a bit of a hard time especially since RL wasn't too kind to me, either. 
> 
> I really hope my recipient likes it at least a little bit. Happy Holidays!
> 
> Thanks go to Brumeier for beta and hand holding and to tobeconspicuous for being an awesome Cheerleader.

_It’s 3 am and there is still light in your study. You really should take better care of yourself and go to bed, Counselor. Or should I say “Professor?”_

_I have to say, Professor, I miss the three-piece suits you used to wear to court. Not that you’re not sexy either way, but there is just something about sharply dressed men that’s so appealing. And the undressing would be so much more exciting._

_You’re not really enjoying your new job, are you, Professor? Your students are a bunch of lazy idiots not worthy of your time. You should open a private practice, work with people who appreciate you for your brilliant mind. I know I would._

_I wish you would notice me, pay attention to me the way I pay attention to you, Rafael. We’re meant to be. It’s fate. You are my everything. My angel. My savior. My inspiration. I will never get tired of watching you._

_I saw you talking to ADA Carisi today. What is he doing back in your life? He didn’t support you and stick by you when you were on trial. Why do you insist on giving him the time of day? He doesn’t deserve you. NO ONE DOES, EXCEPT ME. You are mine, Rafael. Don’t you forget it._

* * *

Rafael took his phone back from Sonny, the messages of his stalker saved to it. He’d already forwarded them to the police as well. 

“The perp saw us? When we ran into each other at the coffee stand?” Carisi’s eyebrows shot up, a mix of surprise and worry on his face. 

“Apparently,” Rafael sighed. “I don’t know what to do any more, Sonny. The police can’t do anything unless whoever this is actually attacks me, as I’m sure you know. And even though Liv offered to have the team look after me, that’s hardly something I can ask of anyone. Besides, I’m really not keen in having my private life invaded.”

Carisi nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, I get that, Rafael, but what if he’s watching you right now? What if he sees us talking again and gets even angrier? I don’t want this to escalate with no-one around to protect you. As much as I love my new job, I’m not keen on prosecuting anyone because they assaulted you.”

Nausea welled up in Rafael but he fought it back. Carisi frowned at him. 

“Are you all right?” There was worry in his voice, concern, so familiar and instant it took Rafael’s breath away for a moment. God, he missed seeing Sonny every day. 

“I, ah … yeah, I’m fine. It’s just that the whole situation is setting my teeth on edge. Someone is watching me. Someone is watching me not only at work but at home as well. Or when I’m out. This has to stop, Sonny. I can’t live like that.” Rafael took the glass of Scotch that was sitting on the bar in front of him and downed it in one go. 

“I know,” Sonny replied. “And I actually have an idea. But you might not like it.” He sounded cautious now. Almost reluctant. 

“Just spit it out. It can’t be any worse than being watched and stalked day and night. By now I’m open to any solution at all.” Rafael meant it. He would do almost anything to resolve this situation and take back control over his life. 

Sonny sighed. “I think we should pretend to date,” he said in a rush. 

Rafael stared at him in surprise. His first instinct was to say no, to refuse, to keep Sonny at arm’s length so he wouldn’t be able to get any further under Rafael’s skin than he already was. 

Sonny must have read something on his face because he hurried to say, “Wait! Before you say no, hear me out. The perp is already reacting to me, to seeing us together. Chances are that thinking we’re together will make them angry and prompt them to make a mistake. And that way I can also protect you. I may not officially be a cop any more, but I still have my experience, my instincts. I won’t let anything happen to you.” The look on Sonny’s face told Rafael exactly how far Sonny was willing to go to assure his safety. 

It was risky. Not only because it likely really would make his stalker angry and even more volatile, but also because it would be detrimental to Rafael’s peace of mind. Sonny had been getting under his skin from the get-go, and Rafael had spent years trying to hide his attraction. Rafael had admitted to himself that he had a massive crush on Sonny, a crush that could easily turn into a real danger for his heart, given the chance. 

But the danger to his wellbeing in general was even bigger and Rafael’s fear of the person stalking him grew with every day. During his time with SVU Rafael had seen the consequences of more than one stalker case gone south and he just knew in his gut that this guy was serious. 

Rafael wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he was terrified of what his stalker might have in store for him. Under these circumstances, Rafael was willing to risk his heart, if it meant he got to keep his sanity.

“You’re right. Let’s do it,” he said and the look of delighted surprise that rushed over Sonny’s face was almost worth the whole ordeal. 

“Really? Great! I’ll come over to your place tomorrow after court then. Or I could pick you up at your office, if you like. I’m gonna cook you dinner. It’s gonna be great.” Sonny launched into action with his usual fervor, and Rafael had to smile. Some things hadn’t changed at all. 

Rafael nodded. “Sounds good. Don’t forget to bring a change of clothes if you plan on staying overnight.” 

Sonny’s eyes were huge like saucers as he asked, “You want me to stay overnight? Isn’t that a bit fast?” 

“Only if you want to,” Rafael replied, and shot Sonny a wry grin. “But we’ve known each other for years now, would it really be this unusual to believe we finally stopped dancing around each other?” 

The look on Sonny’s face was priceless. 

“You’re right, of course,” Sonny stammered. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” To Rafael’s great surprise, Sonny leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. 

Rafael could have sworn his skin tingled for hours.

* * *

Rafael watched as Sonny moved comfortably around his kitchen. The sleeves of his dark blue Henley were pushed up and he had a bit of tomato sauce on his cheek from the Lasagna that was sending a delicious smell through the whole apartment. There was Tiramisu chilling in the fridge, and a nice bottle of red wine was waiting on the dinner table. 

Truth be told, there was something so comfortable, so right, about having Sonny in his space that it worried Rafael a little. Yes, they had known each other, been friends, for years now, but Sonny hadn’t spent any significant amount of time at Rafael’s place, hadn’t really been in his home at all more than once or twice. Yet he seemed to fit, seamlessly. 

And Rafael enjoyed having Sonny there.

God, he was in deep.

* * *

Dinner had been a pleasant affair filled with easy conversation, excellent food, and the kind of undivided attention that made Rafael’s heart skip a beat every once in a while. It was heaven. It was torture. Rafael couldn’t decide which. He only knew that the longing for Sonny’s company, his smile, the way he waved his hands about when he talked, it all grew and grew with every passing moment. 

They’d moved to the couch, had put on a movie, but Rafael simply couldn’t concentrate. He couldn’t think because Sonny was sitting next to him, loose-limbed and relaxed, smiling in a way that sent shivers down Rafael’s spine. Their legs touched lightly and the warmth seeping through the fabric seemed to make Rafael’s skin tingle. 

“Rafael?” Sonny asked, and Rafael blinked, coming out of his stupor. He hadn’t heard a word Sonny had said and his face burned at being caught. 

“Yes, sorry, I was … lost in thought,” Rafael admitted a little sheepishly. 

“Hey, don’t worry. I get it. This is scary stuff,” Sonny said, his voice warm with compassion. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

“I know you won’t,” Rafael replied. He knew that Sonny would do everything in his power to protect him, even if he wasn’t working for the police any more. 

Sonny smiled at him again and another wave of heat and longing rushed through Rafael, making his head spin. The memory of the chaste kiss from the previous day came back with full force: the way his skin had tingled at the slight contact, the way Sonny’s lips had felt on his skin. 

Without conscious thought Rafael moved. He leaned in and gently cupped Sonny’s neck with his right hand before claiming Sonny’s mouth in a kiss. Sonny gasped, and Rafael took the opportunity to taste him, just a little. 

Then his head caught up with his libido and Rafael pulled away as if he’d been burned. He felt nauseous. “Oh my god, Sonny, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I had no right to just kiss you.” Rafael covered his own mouth in horror. He’d spent enough time with SVU to know that he’d just massively overstepped boundaries and crossed into dangerous territory. No consent had been given by Sonny – he hadn’t even had the chance to pull away before Rafael had practically pounced on him. 

“Whoa, hey, no. Stop it!” Sonny held up his hands in a placating manner, looking completely spooked. “You didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to. Hell, if I’d had my way we would have done this years ago. Come on, Rafael, you can’t tell me you didn’t realize I was practically begging you to notice me. I’ve been interested in you for years.” 

The admission brought Rafael up short. Sure, he’d known about Sonny’s special brand of hero worship, but he had assumed it was just limited to the professional side of things. Never in a million years had Rafael thought Sonny could return his feelings of attraction. 

“Oh, wow, I’m kind of surprised here,” Rafael admitted. His thoughts were racing, and his heart was beating wildly in his chest. “I didn’t think that this was more than professional admiration.”

Sonny laughed. 

“Oh no, nothing professional about it. The squad used to make all kinds of comments about me and how gone I am on you. I’m surprised you didn’t hear about it.” Sonny’s grin was light-hearted and a bit self-deprecating. “So…” He trailed off, looking Rafael square in the eye. “Since I’m okay with the whole kissing thing, can we go back to that?”

Rafael laughed. “We can, but it would probably be better not to do that right this second.” Rafael noticed how Sonny’s face fell. “I’m not saying we have to put it off forever, but …” Now it was Rafael’s turn to trail off, searching for the right words. He and Sonny hadn’t had much contact since he started teaching at Fordham and Sonny had taken over as ADA. Both of their schedules had been busy, and Rafael simply hadn’t thought Sonny would welcome the constant close contact. They needed time to find their footing, if nothing else. 

“How about we just take it slow. Not only because I’d really like to get to know the person you are outside of the job a bit better, but also because I really don’t feel comfortable entering a new relationship – a _real_ relationship – while my stalker is watching.” 

Sonny beamed at him. “You want a real relationship with me?” 

Rafael frowned. “Yes, of course. Wasn’t that what you were talking about? A relationship? Being together?” 

“Well, yeah. I mean, I hoped that’s where the kissing might lead at one point, but I wasn’t sure what your agenda was. I mean, this could have been about nothing but stress relief for you, for all I know. Unwinding and relaxing because the stalker threat is driving you up the wall.”

“And that is exactly why I think we need to talk and get to know each other better, privately,   
before we jump into this head first,” Rafael replied. This was all going way too fast and not fast enough at the same time. 

“You’re right. I agree. But just promise me that you’re not gonna make me wait forever.” Sonny grinned and pushed up from the couch.

“I promise,” Rafael said, and he meant it. As soon as the police caught his stalker, he planned on getting to know Sonny a whole lot better. 

“Good, I guess that means I can go to bed in your guest bedroom now?” Sonny gestured over his shoulder. 

“Uh, no. I think it would be better if you slept out here. The guest bedroom window is visible from the street and we want my stalker to think you’re spending the night in my bed,” Rafael explained. “I actually planned on offering to share the bed, platonically, like grownups, but in light of recent events I don’t trust myself to keep my hands off you if you’re in bed with me. So, I’m sorry, but the couch it is for you.” Rafael would have felt worse for Sonny if he hadn’t known how incredibly comfortable the couch was to sleep on. In fact, it was probably even more comfortable than the bed in the guest bedroom. 

“That’s fine, Rafa. I don’t think that I could have kept my hands off of you either, if I’m being honest. But man, this will suck. Especially with you sleeping just down the hall.”

“Tell me about it,” Rafael murmured, and went to fetch sheets, pillows, and a blanket to make the couch as comfortable as possible for Sonny.

* * *

The night had been exactly as bad as Rafael had anticipated. He’d tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep for much the same reason Sonny hadn’t been able to sleep either. They wanted anything but to spend the night apart. But common sense had won out. 

It also seemed as if their plan had worked. Even before dawn Rafael had received several angry messages, ranting and raving about how Sonny wasn’t good enough for him. Or how disappointed the stalker was in Rafael for spending the night with the likes of Carisi. Or how he would make Rafael see that they belonged together, and that Sonny was in the way. 

The last message about Sonny being in the way had freaked Rafael out more than the blatant threats or the possessive rants that had been directed towards him. But Sonny had assured him that he was a big boy and could look after himself, not the least due to the fact that he had spent quite a few years as a detective. 

Most of Rafael’s day had been spent teaching, avoiding students because of the foul mood he was in, and grading papers. A headache had made itself at home right behind Rafael’s left temple, and all in all the whole day had been as exhausting and awful as Rafael had anticipated it would be. He really couldn’t wait for it to be over. Sonny would be coming over again for dinner and just seeing him again promised to become the highlight of Rafael’s day. 

A knock on the door startled Rafael out of his thoughts. Rafael peered at the clock. It was late and most everyone had headed home already, Rafael having opted to stay and do some grading because Sonny had been held up in court anyway. Who would dare to disturb him at this time of day? 

“Come in!” Rafael snapped impatiently, when he’d rather had told his visitor to go the hell away. 

The door opened and Aaron, his T.A., walked in. Rafael frowned in surprise. “Aaron, what are you still doing here? I thought you’d left hours ago. Is everything all right?”

Aaron stepped into the room completely and, to Rafael’s surprise and horror, locked the door behind himself. 

“No, everything is not all right, _Rafael_ ,” Aaron said, and there was anger and outright hatred on his face. 

Rafael’s heart missed a beat. Aaron was his stalker? How had he missed that? How had he missed the obsession, the possessiveness, the irrational, unwarranted interest in him? 

“Aaron, I-”

“No! Shut up! I warned you. I told you that you’re mine. That you should stay away from Carisi. But you wouldn’t listen. Maybe you’ll listen to me now.” Aaron produced a gun and pointed it at Rafael’s head. Rafael’s breath caught in his throat. 

“I’m listening,” Rafael said, holding perfectly still. 

“You’d better. What’s wrong with you? Why did you keep ignoring me? I just wanted the best for you. I _care_ for you. I love you. I wanted you to get the recognition you deserve. I wanted you to take better care of yourself. I wanted to be with you. But you didn’t even notice me. I was nothing more than one more nuisance, one more minion you could order around. And then you chose Carisi over me. Carisi, of all people. He’s the one who hasn’t stood by you, or supported you, or cared about you when it wasn’t convenient. What would you want with someone like him?” 

Aaron had started pacing, waving the weapon about while talking agitatedly. 

Rafael’s phone started ringing and both of them startled. 

A quick glance at the display showed Sonny’s number, and Rafael was relieved and worried all at once. His rescue would depend entirely on Sonny’s ability to add up the clues Rafael planned on giving him. 

Not talking to him at all simply wasn’t an option, and Rafael needed to convince Aaron of that. 

“It’s Sonny. We had plans to get together for dinner. If I don’t answer he’ll get suspicious. Can I take this?” Rafael tried to sound as sincere as possible. 

“Fine, you can answer it. But put it on speaker. And no tricks. I don’t want to have to hurt you.”

Rafael picked up the phone: “Hello, Sonny!”

* * *

Sonny knew that something was wrong the moment Rafael answered the phone. Maybe it had something to do with all of his years as detective, maybe he just knew Rafael well enough even after all this time, but whatever it was, it made every alarm bell in Sonny’s head go off. 

“Hey, Rafa, I just wanted to ask if we’re still on for dinner tonight. You home yet?” Sonny had called his cell and maybe if Rafael could disclose his location, Sonny could send some police to check up on him. 

A very bad feeling had settled into Sonny’s stomach. Something was really, really wrong. 

“Ah, no, sorry, still at my office. I meant to call you and reschedule. I forgot to tell you that I have a lot of grading still to do and I’ll probably be home late. I would have told you this morning, but you looked so peaceful, sleeping next to me, I didn’t have the heart to wake you. Sorry for not calling earlier. I’ve been distracted; it’s been a hell of a day. So, rain check? You should probably work some more on your closing arguments for the Mansetti case anyway. The version you practiced with me last night was godawful.”

Cold sweat broke out on Sonny’s skin. Everything about this conversation was wrong, wrong, wrong. 

They hadn’t slept in the same bed at all. Rafael had in fact told him he needed to still do some grading, but it could wait. And the Mansetti case had been one of Rafael’s own cases from years ago, not something Sonny worked on, let alone needed to practice closing arguments for. 

“Hey, don’t say that. Not everyone was born with your kind of natural talent in the court room,” Sonny forced himself to reply. Chances were that his stalker was with him, probably listening in. Sonny knew he needed to play along, not give away that he suspected Rafael was in danger, and then call the police and tell them everything. 

Rafael had dropped enough clues for him to figure it out. He was still in his office, with someone threatening his life, probably someone he worked with, if his reference to the Mansetti case – a CEO who had been killed by his own PA – was anything to go by. 

“All right, Rafa. I’ll leave you to your grading and get back to working on those closing arguments on my own, since you’re not here to offer advice. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Love you. Bye.”

Sonny swallowed hard as he hung up and dialed the number of some old acquaintances within the police whom he trusted unconditionally. He didn’t call his old team, not wanting to get them involved in what was not their specialty anyway. 

The love declaration had slipped out without volition and Sonny tried to convince himself he’d only said it because the stalker was likely listening, and Sonny needed to stay in character. But he knew he was lying to himself. 

After giving all the information he had, Sonny packed up his things, but didn’t leave his office just yet. He knew if he left now, he’d go to Rafael’s office and he’d only be in the way there. He wasn’t a cop any more. His place was in a courtroom now. Sonny would go check on Rafael after he was home safe and sound. 

Until then, there was nothing more for him to do.

* * *

“Thank god you’re all right!” Sonny wrapped Rafael up in his arms and buried his face in the crook of Rafael’s neck as soon as he opened the door to his apartment. “I was so worried about you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you like I promised I’d be. You’re really okay, right? He didn’t hurt you?” Sonny seemed to give Rafael a nervous once over, looking for injuries. 

“I’m fine, Sonny. He didn’t hurt me. The police arrested him before he could do more than point his gun at me.” Rafael assured Sonny and tugged at his arm lightly. “Come on, let’s get you inside. No need to give the neighbors a show.”

As soon as the apartment door closed behind them, Sonny was on him again, this time pressing soft, chaste kisses against Rafael’s temple, his cheek, and finally his mouth. It was a bit surreal but if felt so incredibly good that Rafael just went with his gut and wrapped his arms around Sonny and kissed him back with fervor. 

Sonny moaned, hands running up Rafael’s back to tangle in his hair and for once Rafael didn’t mind at all. He needed to feel Sonny, his warmth, his strength, as much as Sonny seemed to need to feel him, too. The plan to go slow went out the window along with the intention to talk, all in favor of heated kisses and roaming hands. 

Without letting go of Sonny, Rafael steered them towards his own bedroom, trusting that Sonny would voice his objections should he have any. But there were none. Instead Sonny seemed to be solely focused on undressing Rafael as fast and efficiently as possible, nipping and licking at patches of exposed skin. 

As Rafael gave himself over to the ministrations of his new lover, he thought that allowing Sonny to pretend to be his boyfriend had been one of his best ideas. They still needed to talk, still needed to sort things out before they could have a future together, but that would come later. 

They had plenty of time after all.


End file.
